just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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