dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
