I'm really into asian looking animals
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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