...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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