the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
