You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
