this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And then my night got REAL pukey
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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