I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
