dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's never too late to be topless.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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