Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
