I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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