Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
