I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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