smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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