watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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