We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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