I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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