She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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