Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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