Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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