I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
