He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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