Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
