I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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