Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
