Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
