I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
