Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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