saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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