Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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