Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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