If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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