Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
