My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
