Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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