why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
