New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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