If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
