puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
