We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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