so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
