The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
