NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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