I cockslap morals
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
