he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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