ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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