just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
