Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
