So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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