idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
