Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
