and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he thought i was a dude.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
